Full Conference - Audio Recordings Available on CD-ROM or USB Flash Drive This package includes the audio presentations from the 2016 Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop recorded live during the conference, available as MP3 Files on CD-ROM. Each presentation provides the audio recorded live during the conference. Play the CD-ROM to listen to the sessions, or transfer the files to your favorite MP3 player and listen to them anywhere! $49.99 for a limited time!

INCLUDES ALL OF THESE PRESENTATIONS FROM THE CONFERENCE:

Keynote Dinner with Roy Blount Jr.
Roy Blount Jr.

Roy Blount Jr. has been called “a humorist and social critic in the tradition of Mark Twain, Will Rogers, H.L. Mencken and W.C. Fields.”

A master storyteller and prolific writer, he has written two dozen books, including Save Room for Pie: Food Songs and Chewy Ruminations, to be released in March 2016. He is a familiar voice on NPR’s Wait, Wait . . . Don’t Tell Me! and his writing regularly appears in national magazines.

When Roy received the 2009 Thomas Wolfe Prize, poet James Seay described his writing as “the words of a humorist with poetry in him, one who understands the deepest registers of language.”

His wide-ranging books cover subjects from the first woman president of the United States to what barnyard animals are thinking. They include Alphabetter Juice; Alphabet Juice; Feet on the Street: Rambles Around New Orleans; Roy Blount’s Book of Southern Humor; Robert E. Lee; Be Sweet: A Conditional Love Story; and Long Time Leaving: Dispatches From Up South, which won the 2007 nonfiction award from the New England Independent Booksellers Association. AudioFile chose the audio version as one of the year’s top five books read by their authors.

Roy’s first book about hanging out with the Pittsburgh Steelers, About Three Bricks Shy…And the Load Filled Up, was named one of the 10 best sports books ever by The Washington Postand by The New Yorker, “the best of all books about pro football.”

His prolific writing has appeared in more than 170 periodicals, including The New Yorker, Oxford American, Garden & Gun, Antaeus, The New York Times, The Southern Review, Gourmet and Sports Illustrated.

He wrote the screenplay of Larger Than Life starring Bill Murray, the lyrics of a song Andie MacDowell sings in Michael, and an HBO fairy tale, The Frog Princess. He performed a one-man show at the American Place Theatre, has appeared on A Prairie Home Companion, CBS Morning Show, Tonight Show, David Letterman, Good Morning America, Today Show, Larry King, Politically Incorrect and in a series of TV spots for the NBA starring Bill Murray, which he helped Murray create.

For Sports Illustrated, where he was a staff writer and associate editor from 1968-1975 and is now a senior special contributor, he has rafted the Amazon (attacked by piranha), played baseball with the 1969 Chicago Cubs (hit a ball 350 feet), become all but athletically a virtual member of the dynasty-years Pittsburgh Steelers, and hung out with Wilt Chamberlain, Yogi Berra, Reggie Jackson and the world’s oldest then-living lifeguard. (Though not all at once.)

Roy is the ex-president of the Authors Guild; a member of PEN and the Fellowship of Southern Authors; a New York Public Library Literary Lion; a Boston Public Library Literary Light; a usage consultant to the American Heritage Dictionary; and an original member of the Rock Bottom Remainders, a rock band composed entirely of writers.

Moderated by Brian Klems, online editor of Writer’s Digest, this Q&A with a panel of agents provides you with an opportunity to find out what agents look for in sample chapters, what makes them stop reading, what they can do for self-published authors, what they want to hear during a live pitch, and much more. You’ll get the chance to ask the agents about any topic, from platform and marketing to self-publishing and series writing. Whether you’re writing for children or adults, fiction or nonfiction, these agents can answer your questions.

There was a time when you would have to mail a cover letter, your résumé and writing samples to an editor in order to get a writing job. Not anymore. These days your website is your résumé, and email is your cover letter. Writing samples? They’re hyperlinks to your work online. If you’re not optimizing your website to make it your most effective selling tool, you’re missing a huge opportunity to market yourself and get work. However, creating a great website can be incredibly intimidating. In this session, you’ll learn to how to turn a simple blog into a compelling website that catches an editor’s eye and increases readership.

Tailored to more advanced writers, this interactive session will help writers develop a deeper understanding of what makes a compelling writer’s voice — and how to bring yours to life on the page. In this session, writers will learn to demystify the concept of voice, using examples from literature, film, music and even one’s own speaking style and voice. Through writing exercises, you’ll learn how to identify, embrace and apply your unique voice to your own writing — whether it’s fiction, memoir or humorous essay.

Erma Bombeck wrote, 'There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.' Great humor writers — from Mark Twain to Tina Fey — have been adept at straddling those thin lines. Learn how to write funnier from one of the funniest writers in the country. Tapping into his wealth of experience as an award-winning television writer, screenwriter, playwright and novelist, Alan Zweibel will offer his secrets for writing humorous essays, sketches, stand-up routines, blogs and novels.

You don’t have the time. What would you write about? Who would even want to read what you’ve written? How many writers have talked themselves right out of publishing a book? (And whose name did you just mutter under your breath?) David Braughler works with authors to help them turn their stories into published books. Under direct coercion of many of his authors, he is currently co-authoring a tongue-in-cheek book, You CAN’T Write a Book, that addresses many of the rationalizations he’s heard over the years from reluctant authors. In this publishing boot camp, he will address some of the bigger culprits — along with ways to move past them — so that you can self-publish your book. You’ll leave feeling a little less guilty about not writing, along with a clear plan on the steps you need to take to successfully self-publish, price and market your book.

Everyone has a natural writer within, and everyone has something meaningful to say. Our lives hold many tales, but how do we bring our personal and family stories to life on the page in a compelling manner? This interactive workshop, tailored for less experienced writers, will explore the art and craft of memoir writing and include writing exercises to help you narrow your focus, be authentic — and take readers on an emotional journey of the heart.

Writing coach, columnist, essayist and author of Naked, Drunk and Writing, Adair Lara will teach you how to write very funny short pieces using setup, angle and voice. A humor columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle for 16 years, she will show writers how to use ordinary details and events to create extraordinary insights. Workshop includes great handouts (including a list of essay markets) and some fun (and useful!) writing exercises. Hundreds of Adair’s students have gone on to successful writing careers (including her son, who writes humor pieces for the New Yorker).

Do you have an idea for a comic novel that you’ve been lovingly stroking for ages but can’t seem to sit down and begin? Does the thought of writing anything longer than a blog post make you want to lie down — and not in the sexy way? Do you have a passion to tell a long-form story but you’re not sure what that process would look like in your busy life? Great! Bring ALL of that (and your idea, if you happen to have one) to this session, where we’ll be digging into the processes and practices of getting you started on your novel-writing journey. From silencing insecurities to combating procrastination to carving out time to write, this session will provide you with a “tool kit” of techniques, resources, and — yes — downright tricks that you can rely on for the long haul. Along the way, we’ll wrangle with a real-world exercise that will focus your energy and leave you fired up to get started … writing your novel.

Though some mistakenly think dreaming of being a creative artist in Hollywood is a long shot, and you need to live in L.A. or New York to realistically pursue mass media, nothing could be further from the truth. The rise of social media has leveled the playing field like never before in history — and anyone can turn their creativity into a media empire. Just ask Psy, who with one deliciously crazy music video (Gagnam Style), turned himself into the world’s most-watched pop star ever! Discover how to use your smartphone, Twitter feed, Facebook fan base, Tumblr blog and other new media to market yourself and promote your writing — whether it’s your blog or book — to build an audience, develop leads, attract mainstream media attention and perhaps even land a contract, or better yet, to monetize and distribute your content without old media middlemen. The most powerful writer in Hollywood, E.L. James, started as a self-published fiction author. The power is in your purse (or backpack!). Learn social media tips from author/screenwriter/director/actress/entrepreneur Cathryn Michon, who created a “movie-ment” with her small, independent film, Muffin Top: A Love Story, now available on Netflix and multiple other platforms.

A seemingly ordinary day is filled with hidden stories that contain laughs, drama and a powerful message — all waiting to be uncovered and turned into comedy gold. In a fun, creative and interactive workshop, best-selling author and comedian Judy Carter will give you writing prompts that will show you how the stories from an ordinary day can turn into a TED talk, an essay or your memoir.

This session focuses on the nuts and bolts of creating a self-published book from your best blogs. You will learn how to compile and format chapters, hire professional designers to create the cover and layout, hire editors to read your manuscript, obtain reviews for the cover, purchase an ISBN number and bar code, and submit to print sources such as CreateSpace to produce a paperback and e-book for mass distribution. Targeted to experienced writers who have written at least 100 blogs or 10,000 words of a manuscript.

Best-selling and award-winning novelist Amy Ephronis known for her pitch-perfect tone and unerring eye as she often chronicles love stories against the backdrop of an historical or socio-political time or event. Her seven books include A Cup of Tea, One Sunday Morning and Loose Diamonds. She describes her newest book, The Castle in the Mist, as “a modern-day mash up of an old-fashioned children’s book.” It will be published in spring 2017.

She’s a contributor and contributing editor at Vogue and Vogue.com. Her cutting-edge, occasionally humorous and insightful articles and essays on fashion, food, politics and love have appeared online and in print in Vogue, The New York Times, House Beautiful, The Chicago Tribune, The Huffington Post, Medium and others.

She lives with her husband, attorney Alan Rader, in Los Angeles and, despite the fact that she travels often, she has a distinctly West Coast point of view.

Imagine having coffee with four or five friends who happen to be acclaimed authors who want to help you write your own success story. Bring your “to go” coffee mug to this panel and soak up advice from the experts. From writing inspiration and productivity tips to promotional strategy and insights they never saw coming, you’ll benefit from the wisdom, history and candor of these unique writers.

All of us have treasured scenes from movies or books that have imprinted themselves upon our souls forever. They make us laugh, cry or root for the hero/heroine. Scene is the element of craft that captures the heart of the reader. Designed for all levels of writers, this session will clarify the difference between narrative summary and scene and present the fundamentals of how to create effective scenes. You’ll leave with a user-friendly checklist that will help you strengthen your scenes and take charge of your writing.

Writing scripted comedy is a dynamic, collaborative process. Re-writing scripted comedy is what a writers’ room is all about. This session will mirror the tasks and atmosphere of a professional rewrite room as you and your fellow attendees dig into a real sitcom script under the direction of industry veteran Joel Madison (Roseanne, Fresh Prince, Undeclared). You will have the opportunity to review and study pages of a real script in the weeks before the workshop and gather your thoughts on how to improve a few pages from your own comedy perspective. Then, in a group setting, pitch your new jokes, scenes and even entire story lines to Joel and your fellow attendees as everyone collaborates to hammer out a better, funnier version of the script. As Joel moderates this fun and lively session, he will also share his own hilarious anecdotes from the TV and movie trenches, giving you a true insider’s view of the scripted writing experience. Whether you want to jump in and pitch your own jokes or you simply want to see what a real comedy writers’ room is all about, this session will give you a perspective that you can’t get anywhere outside of Hollywood.

Jenny Lawson (aka “the Bloggess”) is an Internet rock star, with millions of readers — women and men — clicking on her every irreverent, hilarious thought. Her blog is consistently rated as one of the top blogs in the country. How do you create a social media persona, draw the attention of readers and build a community? Discover how to improve your blog, promote your writing — and maybe even land a book deal.

Experience the serious work of humor writing. In this interactive session geared toward beginning writers, participants will learn how to use various types of humor to deliver humorous lines and grab readers. Participants will read a sampling of Erma Bombeck’s columns, discuss why certain lines are hilarious, share their own on-the-spot work and interact with others to improve their writing.

The anecdote has been the focus and the building block of work by writers as different in style and voice as Erma Bombeck, Garrison Keillor, David Sedaris, Dave Barry, Russell Baker and Jo Ann Beard. Though small in scale, the anecdote packs a punch on the page. Told well, these little stories — often amusing, sometimes profoundly moving — draw readers in by offering an illustration of shared experience, by opening a window on a moment. In this workshop, novelist Shannon Olson will show participants how to make their own small personal stories come to life. This interactive session includes brief writing exercises.

Using a series of improvisational writing techniques and a simple kitchen timer, this hands-on workshop will help you get past your self-criticism, reveal your unique voice and help you incorporate that voice into your writing. You’ll learn how to use your voice to paint a clear picture for readers, helping them experience who you are, where you are, who you are to the others in your scene and what makes this day so important in the story. Come prepared to write without self-editing and to give your imagination a good workout.

Best-selling author Elmore Leonard said, 'I try to leave out the parts people skip.' Nothing makes a reader skim more than long, flat passages of description that stop a story’s momentum. No matter what kind of writing you do (fiction, memoir, poetry, essay), this class is chock-full of tips, tricks and exercises designed to make your descriptions come to life. We’ll give tired old clichés a makeover, bolster our figurative language and embrace concrete, sensory details. Everyone is always telling writers, 'Show, don’t tell,' but this workshop will show you to actually do that effectively and creatively. We’ll look at lots of published samples of description that is doing double- and triple-duty in a story, and you’ll write some of your own as well.

Learn the basics of stand-up comedy and hone the four-minute set you’ll perform Saturday night at the workshop. Nationally known stand-up comic Wendy Liebman will share writing techniques to make your stories funnier — and ways to deliver them to get a laugh. The workshop is open to stand-up performers and anyone who wants to learn the techniques for writing and performing stand-up comedy. Come prepared to laugh and scribble down your own hilarious ideas. A dozen comedians will be selected in advance to perform at stand-up night. Wendy will choose an additional three from the hilarious writers she meets in the workshop.

Who is Erma Bombeck, and why has her writing endured the test of time? Best-selling author, syndicated columnist and feminist scholar Gina Barreca will provide a context for Erma Bombeck’s success and help EBWW newbies understand more about why being funny is essential — even when you’re addressing complex issues. Gina will show you how to bring your own humorous voice to life in personal essays. She’ll not only discuss how she works, but she’ll also dish about how other writers (including Erma) face the blank screen and page. To know whether you’ll be the next Erma, you need to know why she continues to inspire millions of devoted readers even today. Thanks to a grant from Ohio Humanities, a state affiliate of the National Endowment for the Humanities, Erma 101 is open to attendees and the general public

You are the brand and every book you write is a brand extension. Developing a personal author brand will save you time, money and frustration as you move from the writing phase to the marketing phase of your book — and help you attract a large following of passionate readers who are truly interested in your books. Cindy Ratzlaff will share the exact tips, tools and strategies she has used to help best-selling authors create their own personal brands, promote their books through a set of massive, branded social platforms and drive sales — all without compromising their privacy or engaging in hard-core selling. You’ll come away from this workshop with a step-by-step guide to developing your own personal author brand and a checklist of action items you can take immediately to build your own brand and position your social influence for rapid growth.

Whether you’re looking for the formula to kick-start your comedy writing or push you toward stand-up success, this panel of comedy experts will help guide you toward your next creative move. We’ll dig a little deeper with our EBWW comedy genius team to uncover strategies and secrets that have worked in a competitive industry notorious for being fun but fickle.

It is the greatest time in history to be a writer. The barriers have been torn down, and now anyone can get published. But to get published successfully is a whole other matter. Arielle Eckstut and David Henry Sterry take you through the entire publishing process. This step-by-step, soup-to-nuts workshop will remove the smoke and mirrors from the murky world of publishing and give writers a compass and map to a successfully published book. Topics include:

• Choosing the right idea
• Creating a blockbuster title
• Crafting an attention-getting pitch
• Putting together a proposal/manuscript
• Finding the right agent/publisher
• Self-publishing effectively with e-books, print-on-demand or traditional printing
• Developing sales, marketing and publicity savvy
• Producing a video book trailer and helping it go viral
• Building a following through social media

Kathy Kinney, who may best be known for her iconic role as “Mimi” on the ABC hit series The Drew Carey Show, has appeared in dozens of TV shows including Lois and Clark, The Newhart Show, The Larry Sanders Show, Seinfeld, Whose Line Is It Anyway, My Name Is Earl, The Secret Life of the American Teenager and Fargo (season 2). She has appeared in such films as Parting Glances, Scrooged, Three Fugitives, Stanley & Iris, This Boy’s Life and Arachnophobia. With her background in improvisational comedy, she has performed extensively in Las Vegas at the MGM Grand, Caesars Palace and the Mirage with Drew Carey and the Improv All-Stars as well as tours with the USO in Saudi Arabia, Iraq and the Persian Gulf. She is the co-author, along with her friend Cindy Ratzlaff, of three books, Queen of Your Own Life: The Grown-up Woman’s Guide to Claiming Happiness and Getting the Life You Deserve; Queenisms: 101 Jolts of Inspiration and Queen of Your Own Life: If Not Now, When? She also co-created a page-a-day calendar featuring Queenisms, which are short inspirational sayings combined with vintage photos. Kathy is the star and co-producer of the award-winning website for children MrsP.com, which promotes creativity, literacy and the joy of reading. She is also an education ambassador for Skype.

Author, speaker and entrepreneur Cindy Ratzlaff was named to the Forbes “20 Best Branded Women on Twitter” list, and Forbes Woman called her one of the “Most Influential Women Tweeting about Entrepreneurship.” During her 20-plus years as a marketing executive with Simon & Schuster and Rodale, Cindy created branded marketing and PR campaigns that ushered more than 200 books onto the New York Times bestseller lists. She was named to the Ad Age “Marketing 50” list for the launch campaign behind The South Beach Diet, which went on to sell more than two million copies. Cindy’s essays on happiness have appeared on Oprah.com and CNN.com, and her articles on social marketing can be read on BusinessInsider.com. She is the co-author, with her friend Kathy Kinney, of three books, Queen of Your Own Life: The Grown-up Woman’s Guide to Claiming Happiness and Getting the Life You Deserve, Queenisms: 101, Jolts of Inspiration and Queen of Your Own Life: If Not Now, When? By licensing the contents of her Facebook page, Queen of Your Own LifeTM, Queenisms are now available as a page-a-day calendar. Cindy speaks to conferences such as BookExpo America, the Pennsylvania Conference for Women, Romance Writers of America, Ernst & Young, Texas Conference for Women, among others, on the topics of happiness, personal branding and creating a digital footprint. She engages daily with more than 450,000 people through her popular Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and blog sites.

For more than a decade, Americans started their day laughing with Erma Bombeck at life’s absurdities. As one of the original members of the “Good Morning America” cast, Erma entertained viewers from 1975-86 with three-minute humorous bits — from discussing picky eaters to trying her hand at the slippery sport of curling. EBWW emcee Patricia Wynn Brown chats with GMA producer Ed Miller and Erma’s children, Matt, Betsy and Andy, about life behind the scenes as we watch a selection of clips and appreciate how her witty writing has stood the test of time.

Leighann Lord is a stand-up comedian, actress, commentator and writer. Inspired by “the brilliance of George Carlin, the smooth jazz style of Franklyn Ajaye and the elegance of Rita Rutner,” she calls her brand, “Thinking Cap Comedy.”

She has performed stand-up on Lifetime’s Girls Night Out, HBO’s Def Comedy Jam and Comedy Central’s Premium Blend, and she won the “Hilarious Housewives Contest” on ABC’s The View. In addition to performing her own material, she was a writer for the Chris Rock Show and pens the syndicated humor column “The Urban Erma.” She brings a blend of humor and pop culture as a co-host of the StarTalk Radio Show with Neil deGrasse Tyson on SiriusXM.

On PBS’s Charlie Rose, That Money Show, FOX News, CNN and MSNBC, she has given her informed and funny take on current events. Her one-woman show, The Full Swanky, debuted in the Riant Theatre Women’s Play Festival, where she won the award for Best Actress. Leighann has received the NYC Black Comedy Award for “The Most Thought Provoking Black Female Comic” and was named Harlem Week’s official comedian, only the second one to earn that distinction, the first being Richard Pryor. She has performed around the world, around the country and for U.S. troops in Afghanistan, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia.

She’s the author of five e-books — two volumes of Dict Jokes: ALTernate DEFinitions for Words You’ve Probably Never Heard of But Will Definitely Never Forget and three collections of her humor essays. Her newest book is Real Women Do it Standing Up: Stories From the Career of a Very Funny Lady.